Men will keep lying in their relationships, but watch out for the red flags

Updated on August 17, 2022 17:40 PM by Anna P

The psychology behind lying

Now, everyone lies in their relationship to keep arguments from increasing and save themselves from the sheer interrogation their partners might give them time and again.

Even in William Shakespeare's drama Comedy of Errors, the famous playwright has shown that Antipholus of Ephesus had to lie to his wife Adriana, even though he was a respected merchant in Ephesus. Lies among men have always been a very common factor, whether during the times of William Shakespeare or modern times.

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Why do men lie

Men usually lie because they do not want to get caught and do not want to look bad in their relationship, especially in front of their girlfriends. Sometimes guys even save their relationship by telling one or two lies. It is as common as having a girlfriend, even in elementary school.

Let's be honest - unless men are planning to have more and more breakups than lasting relationships, being truthful will be the last stroke for them to save their relationship before getting damaged. Nobody wants to jump into a bonfire unless there are no other options left and the lioness is closing by and is ready to pounce on you.

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The lies which will always be there

There are distinct degrees of lying; some are funny, some are ridiculous, and some are so perfect that it will make you think twice before even doubting it.

Whatsoever men have a ton of lies that they commonly use to save themselves in relationships.

You can call them compulsive liars, but they will lie to save their relationships.

Below is a checklist of the most common yet hilarious lies you can look out for when you are going on a date!

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Trust me, lady, I will never cheat again

Trust me, God, almighty, I will never steal again! Trust me, mommy, I will never eat those cookies again! Trust me, sir, I will never take any more paid leaves again! Well, that’s the thing with men; they will tell you they will never do a particular thing again, only to make sure they do it again.

Cheating is one of the commonest features of men in a relationship. Whether physical or emotional infidelity, men have the habit of getting bored in their relationship.

As a result, they are going to cheat and often with time. However, every girl wants to believe their beloved boyfriend will never cheat again. If they catch their boyfriend cheating on them, their boyfriends will swear up and down to prove that they will never look at any other girl.

Psychology says that if he has cheated once, he would probably cheat again. It is obvious; it's like the taste of junk food between homemade meals. Moreover, this is the era of social media, so men get the chance to be emotionally infidel by checking out girls on various platforms.

The most important factor is men do not want to cheat, and that’s what they want to put forward in front of their girlfriends and maybe the whole world. Psychology says cheating becomes a habit; once a person cheats, he will always cheat, and it is one of those compulsory activities that are difficult to break.

It is hard to move on in a relationship, given that you are in love with a cheater. Even Khloe Kardashian has to face trolls for accepting Tristan Thompson even after his serial cheating. Even Kourtney Kardashian forgave Scott Disick many times even though he is a sex addict and has cheated on her numerous times.

So, you cannot be above all the celebrities; as a result, if you find out that your boyfriend has cheated on you, that is a clear sign for you to move on, even if a baby is involved. After all, you will not have Kim Kardashian to look after you behind your back.

Your boyfriend doesn't respect you or your relationship with him, so you better learn to take your leftover dignity and walk off before he hampers your identity.

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Yes, darling, I am all ears

When a guy says he is listening, you can rest assured that is the last thing he is doing right now. Even though this isn't as serious as cheating, it can be frustrating to a longer extent. Loads of relationships had broken up because this guy used to sleep off when his girlfriend talked.

Although nowadays, it's confusing to differentiate between what is serious and what isn’t serious, you can take it as a deal breaker if your partner is lying about listening to you.

The human mind and life and interpersonal relationships are so segregated that it becomes difficult to differentiate which action should be considered to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, a cheating person can be all ears to you, and you might think your man loves you and cares for you. But maybe there is something else lurking in the background.

Well, on your date night out, when you have been talking to your man, and it seems like he is losing focus, you can doubt it with his dazing at you without batting his eyelids. If that is the case, don't be fooled when he tells you that he's been listening because maybe he has zoned out.

Don’t get it wrong; this doesn't necessarily mean you must walk out of the date night. But you can talk it out even though you have been in a relationship for some time. You deserve attention, and a conversation regarding him being inattentive toward you can be addressed as a problem.

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You look great, dear; now let's go

Well, it is obvious that you want to look your best for a party you must be headed to; after all, there will be other ladies, and you will love to put your best foot forward. Now, sometimes you know, we know, and everybody knows that perfection takes time, so getting ready might take time for females.

However, things might not be the same for your man; you want to look good, but your man is more concerned about showing up late at the party than anything else. Now it is true men dress faster than women because they are never bothered about their looks unless it is the first day of their date.

So, since you both are already in the relationship and he is confident that he is not going to lose you, at this point, it doesn't matter what you look like to him. All it matters to him is as long as it speeds up your grooming process and he gives you the compliment which flatters you, it will be easy for him to get you out of the house.

If you watch Season 3, Episode 2, of Friends - The One Where No One's Ready, you will know what your man feels about you getting ready for a party event. Even though his compliment might appear to you as more of a white lie than anything else, he needs you out of the door at that moment.

Moreover, you are his girlfriend, so it doesn’t matter even if you wear a sack; if he truly loves you, he supposedly always thinks you look great no matter what. So, consider it a white lie, flattery, or true love; your partner wants you to walk with him out of the door at the party as soon as possible.

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I swear I would never lie to you

Adolf Hitler swore that he would bring peace to every German in his country when he was elected the vice-chancellor of Germany. Every robber swears over his mother that he will not be robbing after getting out of jail, and every serial killer swears over his own dead body that his innocence is purer than Lord Jesus.

We probably shouldn’t be bringing God here, but the Devil is too busy right now! Now, this one lie might be the granddaddy of all lies, like nothing can beat it as he might be lying about lying to you.

Now you know, your God knows, even the President of the United States knows if he has to save his relationship, he has to lie to his partner. So, of course, your boyfriend will lie because he is not something made out of wax, and you cannot change the basic psychology of men.

They lie, and they will lie about lying, and they will promise you that they would never lie, and then they will lie again about that. Now that doesn’t mean your relationship is a lie.

Everyone has lied about something in their relationships since the start of civilization. This lying is a common factor because that is how human psychology works; if you aren’t lying in your relationship, you must not be in a relationship, it is just a friendship, or maybe you are at war.

Lying in a relationship is like drinking water after having your meal or quenching your thirst on a hot day. Sometimes these lies might be minuscule that you can easily ignore and try to keep up with them, as you have promised to stick around in your relationship.

However, be careful if it is a lie that might lead to your relationship ending with your boyfriend. There are various types of lies - If a guy informs you that he would never lie to you again or that he hasn’t been lying all this while, you better get going, girl!

Your guy is probably trying to keep something away from you or hiding something bigger, so be on the lookout because you might feel deceived later.

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Oh, come on! We are just friends

Now that’s a dialogue you will hear from your boyfriend regarding his female friend all your life. So, be rest assured you are thinking it right; she is not just a friend; he is in an emotional relationship with her; don’t worry, he is physically Fidel with you, but he wants her too for his emotional appetite.

You cannot help it; he wants her equally as he wants you. You will hear the classic dialogue: "I have known her for years. She is my BFF and like my brother.” He and even that girl know he is lollygagging around for a good time. But, you can keep questioning her; it will be in vain.

He loves you, but if given a choice, he will leave you with a heavy heart and stop talking to her. She has once been his fatal attraction, but somehow things didn’t work out, and out of her encouragement, you are in a relationship with him in the first place.

You can be confident that this scenario is a classic case of your guy trying to gaslight you off his emotional infidelity. Now, there is no proof for you since you will not be able to bring him down with the help of this lady.

However, if a woman is constantly texting your boyfriend, and he is warding it off, saying she is just a friend, you can always consider it a red flag. It would be satisfactory if you looked out for whether he is prioritizing her messages over yours or not; then that might be a huge problem.

Make sure to watch out; you need to get to the bottom of this scenario before you turn out to be Lady Diana and before it is too late for you to bring back your Prince Charles.

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I didn't answer your call because I was asleep

Sleeping is one of the men's most basic things when they find you boring enough not to want sex with you.

Not answering your call could mean many things, but one thing is for sure, he is not interested right now in picking up your call.

However, if it goes on more than once, it always means that he does not want to talk to you.

Now why he did not want to talk to you is a question you should ask him, but, in vain, he will say he was sleeping, or if you caught him red-handed, he will find some other excuse.

So never mind wasting your time charging him why he is not receiving your call because chances are there that he wasn't asleep, and he will never admit it.

Chances are also there that you have been taken for granted by him. But do not take it otherwise, as the probability of him being infidel and sleeping with someone else while using this excuse to cover up his cheating story is low.

That also does not mean it is not a white lie and shouldn’t be taken with caution. It always does raise the basic question - why doesn't your boyfriend want to talk to you?

It would help if you found other ways since asking him won’t give you any solution.

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Trust me; I am extremely sorry

Except for a narcissist, every single guy will say sorry to the woman and then do the same things that made them feel sorry in the first place. You can always consider this one of the absolute most common lies that men tell their women.

Also, sometimes they want to woo their girl back from their girls’ mock attention by getting angry with their boyfriends. So, the word ‘sorry’ has no meaning to them.

Whenever you find your boyfriend messing things up, doing something incredible, or getting late to a dinner date, they know they have to say “I am sorry,” and that’s it - a flower bouquet, and they know they are forgiven.

You can always rest assured that most of the time, men are not sorry - they are just regretful that they got caught, so more than to you, the sorry is towards themselves.

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I didn't have my phone with me

Now that’s a lie that even Adolf Hitler or Mussolini might not have dared say, but your man will say that in the first instance. Now, if you have caught the person red-handed for not receiving your call, the next excuse will be that they didn’t have their phone with them.

A similar lie to evade themselves out of your scanner eyes matches with “I didn't answer your call; baby, I was so tired that I fell asleep.” Now, if you catch him with his phone, he might next lie that the phone’s battery died and his phone’s charger was not with him.

So, you cannot go on catching them red-handed everywhere unless they turn you into a doubtful freaky girlfriend. Usually, these gestures don't always mean cheating on you or looking out for other options, but they indicate a red flag.

There may be some underlying problems that he does not want to tell you and that need to be brought to light, or at least you can try to solve the issue by trying to deal with it patiently and calmly.

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Dear, It is so hard to make plans right now

Now, that's a huge red flag; the person is not ready to commit, and you can sense it from their finding it hard to make plans. This attitude of not being able to make any plans means he doesn't want to make any plans with you. Why he doesn't want to make plans with you is questionable!

Now, if it is a small problem like just not getting ready for a weekend plan, that’s fine, maybe you can manage it with another week, if it is about something which involves the decisions of your life, you better watch out.

Your man is ready to walk you to the ice cream parlor, but if you want to discuss long-term goals or plans, and he is finding ways to be evasive, then there is a deeper problem.

Now, the only way to crack that problem is through communication. Now that can also be a big deal as your partner will figure out what you are upset with, but at least you will get the chance to work your things out.

You will need to patiently and calmly explain why he doesn't want to commit to your long-term plans. It won't be effortless, but you must do it for your relationship’s sake.