Easy Methods for Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Updated on October 06, 2022 17:45 PM by Laura Mendes

Most people's minds are busy, noisy, and full of negative thoughts and self-judgments. Many of us have learned to be afraid of our own thoughts because we worry and worry almost all the time. So, we fill our time and minds with things to do and things to think about so that we don't have even a few seconds of mental downtime.

It goes without saying that this way of avoiding things never really works.

Self-reflection is a necessary process, and the longer you put it off, the more disorganised and chaotic your thinking will become.

If you want to make your mind more peaceful, make a plan to build better mental habits.

Here are five ways of thinking that will help you calm down and worry less.

Limit mental time travel

One of the best things about being human is being able to remember the past and imagine what the future will be like. Over the course of human history, our ability to think back in time has helped us imagine, plan, and build amazing things. From getting rid of smallpox to landing on the moon, being able to live in the past and the future has helped us in the present in huge ways.

But spending too much time outside of the present moment has costs. One reason is that it's often hard and stressful. It can be helpful to think about hypothetical problems and how we might solve them. But when it's the way we always think—the water we swim in—it can lead to stress and anxiety that lasts for a long time. If you live in the past or the future, you might miss out on the present.

The present is where many of life's best and most important moments happen. But if you can't stop thinking about the past or the future, you might miss out on some of the best parts of the here and now. You can go to the past and the future, but you can't live there. Don't forget that we can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose where we put our attention. Focusing on the present moment will bring peace of mind if you do it often.

“Not every problem needs to be overcome, just the ones stopping you from getting where you want to be."

Check your expectations

Expectations can be good and bad in small and big ways. Here's an explanation of the phrase:

After a "really good" conversation with your manager at work about how you prefer to talk (in person) and how they prefer to talk (texts and emails), you expect them to send fewer emails and talk more in person in the future.

Unfortunately, you keep getting emails from him every day, every week, even at odd times at night and on the weekends. On top of being annoyed by getting too many useless emails, every email makes me feel shocked and confused, but we just had such a good conversation!

This means that every time your expectation is broken, you feel not just one but two hard feelings. This is important because painful feelings tend to add up, not add to each other. In other words, if irritation alone caused four units of emotional distress, adding four units of surprise makes your total emotional distress closer to 16 than 8.

The trouble with having expectations is that they are always broken. And these violations have emotional effects that lead to frequent or constant frustration, disappointment, and anxiety, none of which are good for a peaceful mind.

Still, maybe all this mental stress from high expectations is worth it if the benefits are high enough.

Practice self-compassion

Human nature is strange in that we tend to be forgiving of other people's mistakes but harsh on our own. If a friend called you upset and worried after making a big mistake at work, you'd probably respond with compassion and understanding:

On the other hand, if you made a mistake at work, you would probably be much less kind and understanding to yourself:

What is happening?!

Why are we hard on ourselves when we make a mistake but kind and forgiving to others? How come we can help a friend see their mistakes from different points of view, but when it comes to ourselves, we only think about the worst thing that could happen?

Why do we ruin our own peace of mind when we make a mistake by talking badly to ourselves and being hard on ourselves? On second thought, don't try to find answers at all. There could be dozens or even hundreds of things going on here.

Instead, think about the following:

What if you could treat yourself like a good friend after making a mistake? Yes, you have gotten into the habit over the years of putting yourself down with harsh thoughts and words. But in the end, this is just a habit, no matter where it came from.

And people can change their habits: What if you started to treat yourself gently instead of being hard on yourself? What if you stopped being hard on yourself and instead tried to understand yourself? What if you stopped being hard on yourself and started being kind to yourself instead? The next time you're having a hard time and your mind is full of negative thoughts and worries, try talking to yourself like you would to a good friend who was going through the same thing.

"A mind at peace is a mind that cares."

Self-compassion means being kind to ourselves in the same way we would be kind to others.

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Clarify your values

People who don't have peace of mind get stuck in almost endless cycles of worry, ruminating, and other stressful and unproductive ways of thinking.

Because they've worked so hard and for so long to get rid of their worries, they base everything in life on getting rid of worries: They stay away from certain kinds of people and things because they don't want to feel too anxious.

They avoid certain memories or triggers because they're afraid they'll take them back to a bad time. They never spend time alone with their own thoughts because they are always doing something. The problem is that if you spend your whole life trying to avoid scary and unpleasant things, you only know how to run away. Here's the thing, though.

“When you have something important to work toward in the present, it's much easier to stop worrying about the future”. And this can be the best part of your life, that can make you realise how important it is to be clear about your thoughts in order to live a happy and satisfying life.

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Memento Mori

Stoics have done this for a long time: they keep a human skull on their desk or at their place of work. This is called memento mori, which means "remember that you will die" in Latin. Now, this whole thing probably sounds strange, if not downright creepy. But all of it it makes a lot of sense, especially if you want to keep your mind calm and peaceful.

This is why: What gives life meaning is death. Because our time on Earth is limited, we are naturally driven to make the most of it.

Death is a powerful reminder that we only get one chance at this thing called life, so we should make the most of it. Sad to say, thinking about death is uncomfortable, even scary. It's usually a scary thought if you know deep down that you haven't done much with your time so far.

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So, many people find ways to avoid thinking about death and their own deaths. They keep themselves busy both mentally and physically all the time, so they never have time to think about their inevitable death and wasted lives. To slow down your life enough to get rid of the stress and anxiety you feel all the time; you have to be willing to face your own death and your responsibility to do something important with your life.

Now, I get that that sounds pretty scary. So start small.

What will you do with this one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver

Do one small thing every day that makes you think a little bit about how short life is. Maybe write that Mary Oliver quote on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. If you do this, you will start to get used to the fear of dying and the shame of wasting your time because you won't find peace of mind until you can deal with your fears and worries instead of trying to keep yourself busy all the time.