The death of Lauren Goodger's daughter leaves her with no blame

She has been dating Charles Drury, 25, for twelve months, and already has a 12-month-old daughter LaRose with him.

Lorena lost her life after being born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck back in July and has opted to have a postmortem.

After thinking about it, I decided to do a post-mortem. I did not want to blame anyone, but I need answers. I need some insight into why this happened. It is what it is. Let it be what it is. There is no turning back.

Having that time reminded would be a dream come true for me. Although I can blame myself, I think it's already happened and I can't change it. Blaming myself won't get me anywhere.

As far as I'm concerned, I have to accept it and move forward. The first thing I need to do is understand it. My opinion of the post-mortem has changed because of that.

She also said that Charles, during the tragedy, 'broke down on the floor as he called for the medics to 'save his baby.'In front of us, they were doing everything they could. Charlie has broken down and was pleading, 'Please save my baby

The former 'TOWIE' star explained in an interview with the Daily Mail that while she can remain 'strong' during the day, it is at night that the 'sadness' starts to rule her and she can't sleep.

She told me something new! I have a brave face on for Larose, but when I get into bed at night, I just want Lorena next to me. I feel like I can withstand the day for Larose, but at night, it just hits me.

When that happens, I feel so sad and miss her so much. Lorena has a special teddy that she keeps with her now, and I have a matching one that I keep with me as well.

I'm going to swap them over when I say my last goodbye to her. She will have the one I have, and I will have the one she has.

She was perfect. She had beautiful black hair and blue eyes. She had big lips and a small nose. She looked like a very healthy baby. I don't know how I feel. The worst thing is when my baby is asleep at night and I feel alone without Lorena.